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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, I get back to work, and it’s all good until I hear this loud crash outside. I rush out, and there’s a bunch of kids playing footy on the street. They’ve knocked over a trash can. I’m like, “C’mon, guys! Clean it up!” But they just laugh and run off. Kids these days, man. No respect for the bone cutters!

Annual fundraising book sale opens tomorrow in Alexandra